Star light, Star Bright
First Star I see tonight
I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Have my milk come in tonight!
That's right, it's been over a week and still no milk. I'm pumping like a mad woman and only get about 4 ml per session. As births go, we had a pretty traumatic one with a lot of blood loss, plus pitocin, so I knew my milk coming in would be delayed - but this is extreme. I'll be meeting with the lactation peeps tomorrow, but honestly, I don't know what else I can do. Isaac is already use to both a bottle and formula since there is no way I could have fed him with just what I'm producing, and he doesn't do great with latching on so pumping has been my only option. It's frustrating and disappointing, and I'm trying not to feel like a huge disfunction. I know in the end whatever makes my baby happy is what matters, but it still doesn't make you feel good when you pump fruitlessly. Grrr. ~ Andrea
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
So, I totally understand your frustrations. My lactation specialist told me that it takes boys longer to get the hang of it...in fact the average for boys was around two weeks after his due date. SO in my case since he was three weeks early, it could be 5 whole weeks before he got it! I don't know if she told me that to feel better about my skills or not, but it did make me feel like it was my fault. I do know that once your mild comes in it will get easier for you.
ReplyDeleteI was meaning to ask you, which pediatrician are you going to? We go to Charlotte Pediatrics (the south park location)...and they have a great lactation specialist named Jan Ellen. Good luck and try not to get to frustrated. Feeding is a time that should be enjoyed, no matter what way you choose to feed your child. For me, I just enjoyed looking down at him while he latched his little hands around my fingers...not quite the "latch" I was looking for, but it worked for us!
Thanks Melissa. It's nice to get encouragment and support without feeling guilty about formula. We'll see how it turns out, but at least I know he's eating well right now.
ReplyDeleteWe're using Ballantyne Peds, but I've heard awesome things about Charlotte Peds. It was on our short list, but location kinda played into our decision. I like having the office only 10 minutes from the house and 5 minutes from where I work. It's good to know that we have a backup that is so well liked incase our ped. doesn't work out for us.
On nipple confusion--I'm not sure who puts that in the books or why, but I think it is a myth. I have not talked to anyone who actually had a problem with that. In fact, most people that I talked to about breast feeding said the only thing they had a problem with was nipple preference--they did not give their child a bottle early on and when they were ready to wean at 6 months, the child would not take a bottle. One of my sleep books also recommends giving a bottle of pumped milk once a day from early on, even if you are breast feeding.
ReplyDeleteUse the lactation consultants for latch problems. I never had latch problems, and I did not find them to be helpful on the reflux/cluster feeding issues that I called them about. But I understand they are good with latch problems.
Also, formula is great, so don't feel guilty about it if you end up using it. Your baby will bond with you just as well if you end up using formula as if you breast feed. In fact, I think I have actually bonded with Hadley better since I started formula feeding. When I was breast feeding, I was solely a means of getting nourishment. When I was holding her, all she wanted was the breast and it was impossible for me to console her without giving her my breast. She was too smart to be fooled by a pacifier too, so unless she was asleep, if I was holding her, she was crying for the breast--even when she had just eaten. I would often have to hand her off to Tom to calm her down, and it really upset me because I wanted to hold her. Most people probably don't have that problem, but it was a big problem for us. So I stuck it out for about 8 weeks with breast feeding so that she could get most of my antibodies, etc., but then decided I would rather bond with my baby than spend too much time worrying about breast feeding. Now she sees me as a person to cuddle with her, soothe her and play with her, and not as "just a boob".
--Amanda
I couldn't agree with Amanda more! And the part about giving a bottle from an earlier age is true with a lot of other things too. The sooner they get used to something that they will have to do in the future, the easier it will be when you do it full time. Like sleeping in their crib...even if it just at nap time. That way they feel comfortable in such a big space when you are ready for them to sleep in there full time. Or sleeping without swaddling. I cannot tell you how many blogs/boards I have read that these three issues come up and the poor mommyies that have to struggle for there kids to get used to bottles/crib/de-swaddling. If you make it seem ordinary, babys will naturally tell you when they start perfering those methods.
ReplyDeleteI just want to get my two cents in as far as the breastfeeding/formula bonding topic. I have said in comments before that you definitely have to do whatever is best for you and your baby and your family, be that formula, breastmilk, or a combo of the two. I breastfeed whenever I am with Laine but we weren't able to save enough milk to give her when I'm working so she gets a combo while I'm gone. It's given us a lot more freedom and she seems happy with it (it's only about 3 times a week, so I don't think she really cares either way). Plus I just don't really like pumping, so I didn't want to have to do it all the time. Now I just get what I can while at work and supplement.
ReplyDeleteBut what I wanted to comment on was what Amanda said... I don't think of myself as "just a boob" at all. I don't necessarily feel that breastfeeding in itself promotes a stronger bond and the main reason I am doing it is for the health reasons, not for some special magical connection with my baby. However, I still feel that I am able to comfort Laine without feeding her and I spend a lot of time on the floor playing with her and reading and singing and rocking and all of that. I think Melissa is right- you can enjoy feeding your child whichever way works for you both, but it doesn't have to be a mutually exclusive thing. Bonding will happen when it happens as long as you spend time with your baby and provide affection and comfort, regardless of "being a boob" or not.
-Greer
I love all the comments on here! It's great to have a perspective from every angle. I definitely am bonding with Isaac, and I don't think that I need to nurse. I just really wanted to supply some breastmilk - both for health reasons and cost! I couldn't drive for the first week, so Adam had to run out and get some formula. He came home with sticker shock and Target brand formula. Isaac is fine with it, and I love that both Adam and I can feed him. I saw the specialist today, and they gave me a new machine to try to coax my supply to come in more. It's HUGE, and from the 1980's!! We're going to give it one more week and see if my supply increases. Going to the pediatrician made me feel better today because Isaac is already up to 7 lbs 9 oz after being only 7 lbs even at his appointment last week. He's happy and healthy, and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteTo clarify, I did not mean to imply that I think of breastfeeding mothers as "just a boob" because I definitely DO NOT. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, although difficult, and I will try again with my next child. However, when I was breast feeding, I felt like I was "just a boob" because Hadley wanted to eat all the time and I found it hard to bond with her in any other way--no matter how much I rocked, played, sang, etc.--she just cried--all the time. And it really upset me to feel that way. Maybe nobody else has had this problem, or maybe other people have and they just don't talk about it--maybe that was part of the problem was that I did not feel like anyone really understood the problem I was having. I still refuse to utter the "c" word, but I think that might have been our issue. Anyway, things are going much better now and I just wanted to put my experience out there so that nobody else has to feel the way I did about not having the problem understood. I honestly did not mean to offend anyone.
ReplyDelete--Amanda
I HATE THE "C" WORD! If one more person tells me that my baby is "colicky" I think I might seriously inflict some bodily harm!!! They have been using that work when in fact Andrew was dealing with reflux, and they are still using it to this day, and I am like "hello, if you baby spit up half of what he ate he would be cranky too!"
ReplyDeleteIt is extremely hard to articulate the problems we individually deal with concerning feeding simply because it is in a subject that none of us have ever down before now, and that doesn't seem to be particularly easy to most women to do in general. The point is all babies are different and it is hard to figure out what they want, need, and prefer. I totally felt like a cow when I was still giving Andrew breast milk. I would have continued pumping a million times a day if I thought for a moment he was more beneficial to him vs my sanity and giving him a bottle, not to mention that the formula helped his reflux tremendously. Even though I will probably try to nurse again with our next child, I will try not to take all the day to day things in feeding so personally. He eats what he wants, when he wants. All I can do is try to catch on to his cues so that he can be the happiest baby possible and be consciences of my own needs and frustrations so that I can be the best mommy possible to him. Besides, I can only imagine what people must think about my own eating habits, if we were all scrutinized the same as our babies are for their eating habits...not that I spit up or anything ;)